struggling against the impossible...

today was hot in sydney today...and that special kind of Sydney hot with a palpable amount of humidity...so much so that when i was driving home from yoga at midday, i was sweating as much as i might after a good half hour in a sauna...admittedly i'd just been practising some vigourous yoga and i was in a car that had been out in the sun for about 3 hours

i got home with the intention of putting a huge dent into the work of writing the document for the workshop from yesterday...but after having lunch and some chai, i was spent - lethargic, tired and a bit down on the world...so i picked up "eat, pray, love" and read a bit...the author is now in india at the ashram and having a hard time meditating, but coming to a few realisations that i have, in different words...my struggling in my career doesn't push the world along - the struggles i feel in my work are a lot to do with the struggles in my thinking and are burdens that are self made, and are very heavy to carry around...in fact, the best way for me to put my best actions and intents out into the world are for me to be rested and balanced and not devote so much mental and emotional energy to working things out in my head

i had this same feeling with working on my UK work visa - that's something I'd poured so much mental energy into and now i was being paranoid about tracking the package that i'd sent (which, as it turned out was very close to it's destination - i'd just been checking the wrong part of the web site for my consignment - domestic instead of international)

so, today, i was finally not working on getting ready for a workshop, or getting my visa together, or organising my trip...the sense of relief, much like the humidity, was palpable :)